


Gay Life at 1 am

by Br33z3_Bl0cks



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Sex, Attempt at Humor, Awkward Conversations, Bottom!Leo, Established Relationship, Humor, Jaleo brotp, M/M, One Shot, Slash, Texting, valdangelo - Freeform, well it's implied???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-05-01
Packaged: 2018-01-21 11:06:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1548401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Br33z3_Bl0cks/pseuds/Br33z3_Bl0cks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>LB: It can’t be your virginity because you told me you lost it already<br/>RB: No<br/>RB: Even worse<br/>RB: Nico wants my buttginity<br/>Or </p><p>In which Leo texts Jason at 1am about how anal sex works and Jason just wants to go to bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gay Life at 1 am

**Author's Note:**

> Jason ➡ LB ➡ Lightning Boy
> 
> Leo ➡ RB ➡ Repair Boy
> 
> Nico ➡ ZD ➡ Zombie Dude
> 
> (It's their usernames for a text app)

It’s one am and someone is texting him, Jason mumbles into his pillow, electing to ignore until suitable hours of the day. Whoever’s sending him texts doesn’t seem to catch the memo since they're _still_ blowing up his phone. Crying in frustration he grabs the phone, wincing at the bright glare emitting from his phone and looks at the caller ID. Why is Leo texting him? Shouldn’t he be spending the night at his boyfriend’s house?

RB: Jason?

RB: This is an emergency!

RB: S.O.S.

RB: Don’t leave your buddy hanging!

“I’m not gonna answer those.”

...

Jason answers the texts.

LB: Somebody better be dying.

RB: Jason!

RB: My blonde superman has arrived!

LB: And he is leaving in the next five seconds if you don’t tell him why you’re texting him at one am

RB: Okay

RB: Y’know I’m spending the night at Nico’s house since everyone’s out right?

LB: I s2g if you text me just to talk about how much sex you’re going to have Nico will no longer have a boyfriend

RB: Dude

RB: Not this time

RB: I need guidance 

LB: I’m your blonde superman not Dr. Phil go text Annabeth

RB: Are you crazy she’d skin me alive for waking her up!

Jason is seriously wondering what wrong turn he made to get this guy as a best friend.

LB: Leo talk or I’m turning my phone off

RB: It’s Nico

RB: He wants something idk if I can give.

Jason pauses to stare at his phone, there is no way he’s talking to Leo- _Nico and I totally did it last night_ \- Valdez. 

LB: It can’t be your virginity because you told me you lost it already

RB: No

RB: Even worse

RB: Nico wants my buttginity

**Lightning Boy has left the chat**

Okay, Jason knows he made a jerk move, but what are you suppose to do when your friend suddenly drops a bombshell like that? He needed a few minutes to digest and prepare for trauma based on where it seemed this conversation was headed.

LB: Leo?

RB: I express my cold feet on getting a dick up my ass and you exit the chat!

LB: I’m sorry my finger slipped

RB: Really?

LB: Really

RB: I don’t believe you

LB: ...

LB: So Nico wants you to bottom?

RB: YES

LB: And you said?

RB: YES

LB: But you don’t want to bottom?

RB: Idk honestly

LB: Then find out if you do?

RB: Have you tried taking it up the ass Jason?

LB: No

RB: EXACTLY

RB: HIS DICK IS NOT JUST GONNA MAGICALLY SLIDE IT’S WAY UP MY ASS

RB: THERE’S A LONG TIRING PROCESS WITH AT LEAST 3 FINGERS AND LUBE 

RB: BASED ON WHAT THE INTERNET HAS TOLD ME

RB: IT’S NOT PRETTY JASON

This conversation is not going so smoothly, Jason doesn’t know what to tell Leo, maybe if you close your eyes and count to ten you won’t notice it enter you? It’s too early for him to be dealing with this. 

LB: This is getting uncomfortable

RB: JUST LIKE I WILL WHEN I TAKE IT UP THE ASS JASON

RB: HELP ME

LB: I’m not an anal expert!

RB: I need you

RB: To Google everything about it

RB: Make sure I didn’t miss anything

LB: …

RB: Hurry up Nico went to go pick up some condoms (I brought the lube)

RB: He’ll be back any minute now

LB: Is it too late to go back to sleep?

RB: JASON

LB: Okay okay I’ll try

RB: Bless

Jason can’t believe he’s about to go through with this, he knew one day his loyalty would be his downfall. But not like this, _never_ like this. He can do this, it’s just googling the process of anal sex, and how hard can it be? Jason goes to his desktop and cuts it on, pulling up the browser.

...

_Why is this so hard?_

At first there were a crap ton of porn videos where the bottom looked like he literally bathed in lube beforehand, the top only used _two_ fingers to spread him out before slipping his dick right in the bottom. Wait- Leo told him it doesn’t work like that, why is it working like that? Jason can’t decide which is worst about the video: The half-assed moaning or the music playing in the background.

Throwing caution to the wind Jason types ‘How to have anal sex’ into Google and clicks a site called _Gay Life_. The article talks about the six secrets of gay anal (Secrets Jason didn't want to know.) he skims through it, alright; this sounds reasonable and not magically or physically impossible.

LB: Leo?

RB: Give me the run-down.

LB: Okay this is all I got

LB: 1) You need to bathe in lube

LB: 2) Slip one finger in

LB: 3) Wait until you’re ready to give the go ahead

LB: 4) Slip in another finger when you’ve adjusted to it

LB: 5) Repeat steps until at finger three

LB: 6) Enjoy fingering???

RB: Wait

RB: What about the dick in my butt part

LB: DON’T DO IT

LB: _Gay Life_ said you need to practice with fingers only before doing anal all the way!

RB: What the fuck is gay life?

LB: _Gay Life_ is where you should’ve gone instead of me!!

RB: Jason

LB: Yeah?

RB: Thanks (And stop typing gay life like that jfc)

LB: You’re welcome (And no never)

LB: But please don’t ask for anal advice again

LB: When it’s 1AM

LB: Can I go back to bed now?

RB: Yeah! I hear Nico coming in!

LB: Bye 

RB: I’ll give you the details later! ;)

LB: Please no

RB: <3

**Repair Boy has left the chat**

**Lightning Boy has left the chat**

Jason shuts down his desktop, falling into his bed with a relieved sigh. Playing Dr. Phil is hard; he hasn’t given Annabeth enough credit.

Finally, Jason can get some rest now. He douses off as soon as he shuts his eyes.

Wait.

His phone’s going off again.

Jason groans, blinking a few times before looking at his clock. What the- it hasn’t even been _five minutes_. He grabs his phone, preparing to type something nasty-hold on- That isn’t Leo.

ZD: Grace

ZD: Why the hell does my boyfriend look like he bathed in a bottle of lube?

LB: …

LB: _Gay Life_

**Lightning Boy has left the chat**

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when you ask google how anal works


End file.
